Diary of a Wimpy

Hey hey hey! I'm in a good mood so here comes another movie review but hey ho! So you know the drill

• Story 
• Characters
• Overall movie
• Notes

Story 

The story in case you haven't read the book or watched the film is about a dorky kid who goes into middle school and has a hard time fitting in. I'm British so I have no idea what it is but from what I can gather, middle school is a school between primary I mean 'elementary' and American high school. In England you start high school when you're eleven and stay until sixteen or eighteen depending if your school has a sixth form if not you go to a separate college then university. Anyway the story wasn't awful, a little boy's trying to be popular in his new school. It's a cute film. I can kind of see where the writer was coming from I can relate to a lot of what is said and how kids act. It's interesting to see the book adapted into film.

Characters

Greg, our protagonist, is an eleven year old dick! I'm serious! He's an egotistical, arrogant selfish child! He breaks his best friend's arm and shows no remorse. He's constantly puts down everything his best friend (Rowley) does and I swear this kid has commitment issues. Rowley is ... cute. That's it he's dorky and more popular than Greg but apart from that he's just an archetypical sidekick. Chloe Grace Moretz is good as Angie but I don't have much to say about her 'cos she comes and goes like Zorro so. The other characters do what they do adequately and I have nothing left to say. 

Overall Movie

Overall it was a fun film to watch, it wasn't challenging it was a fun film and stuck to the book unlike OTHER films I could mention!

Notes

Why are there so many scenes of Greg in his underwear?

The acting needs work

I know big brothers are irritating (mine told me communists were people who looked after giraffes) but this guy's takes it to the next level

I'm your Geek Chick

Yeah Hulk Hogan

3 Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain

Ohhhhhhhh dear this is my second film review and I have a lot more respect for rotten tomatoes, Siskal and Ebert ect. It's also boring, really boring. Anyhoo I'm going to look at each individual category.

• Story
• Characters
• Editing
• Overall Movie
• Notes and Plotholes

Story

Well it's nothing that shocks me. A team of 'ninjas' (even with the inverted commas, I'm using that term extremely loosely) take over a theme park and demand money from the owner or they'll start to kill people. Yes kill people. I wasn't entirely sure of the rating system in the US so I researched what PG was. It turns out it's the same as the British one Parental Guidance Suggested. Suggested I don't care how they tried to put cutesy music over it there are some frigging dark scenes there! Like an actual psychopathic woman, tries to kill a child with a bomb, a man is sword fighting a child intent on killing him and several gunmen open fire into a crowd of innocent people. Getting back to the story this woman wants money to leave the country after she escapes from jail. Does she do it secretly? Not revealing her face for fear of recapture. NOPE. Everyone can see her she makes no effort to hide! How does she plan to escape the country? These are the most blatant people ever! King Kong was less conspicuous than these guys! It's a little silly yes of course. They weren't going for an Academy Award winning concept idea for sure.

Characters

I'm going off what I can see here, no I haven't seen all the other films, I'm still a lazy teenager after all. Lets start with the oldest ninja Rocky or Samuel he's a teenager. That's really it. I'm serious he just goes around kung fuing but that's it. I know nothing about them other than he's fifteen and wants to stop going to grandpa's for the summer to work and buy some 'wheels'. The hardest decision he's had to make seems to be whether to hang around with his friends or his brothers. I'm trying really hard here to come up with something. Oh yeah he has a girlfriend with the worst fringe ever and her best friend who has no lines other than, "All men are dogs," or "There's plenty more fish in the sea!" Then there's his dick friend who's blonde and pees himself when an overweight man yells in his face. He literally pisses himself. Throughout the film he makes douchey comments then he pees himself, is that his karma? I don't want to dwell on that too much anyway. The other brother is called Colt (who looks girlier than his friend Amanda by the way). He also seems to be the only one who actually make sense but we don't know anything about him other than he likes the beach. Now I'm writing this I realise I have to watch the whole series to get any sense of character development. I don't have the time or the will power to do so, so... Then there's the little kid, Tum-Tum and I guess his thing is eating and kicking. He loves kung fu and is sad when his brothers say they don't want to do it anymore. If that was me, I'm speaking because I have a big brother, I'd do the kung fu on my own and the next time my brother tried to wrestle the TV remote off me or something I'd Wendi Deng his ass! Then there's Amanda another bland character who constantly farts gadgets and gizmos conveniently. She participates in the destruction of two household items and the family are just like "Oh well." Oh yeah and there's Hulk Hogan too.

Editing

There actually were some well choreographed fight scenes but also some bad dubbing and continuity ... issues. A couple of things to tut at but nothing too condemnable. I suppose.

Overall Movie

It wasn't God awful but it wasn't good. If I'd had a bad day at work, I'd stick my kids in front of it to keep them occupied. Which it probably wouldn't because it's boring and if they were young enough to enjoy it I'd come the next day and they'd be talking about putting a cap in my ass. In the movie the gunmen opened fire on a crowd of people two or three times!!!!! In a PG!! They didn't go on a killing spree in Cool Runnings. If they didn't have so many violent undertones it would be a harmless family film.

Notes and Plotholes

• Grampa is a dick! He left three children alone in the dark to dodge past fire manoeuvre their way on high ledges while things are hitting them in the face! Hell I had trouble walking downstairs with my eyes closed!
•  Acting makes me cringe
• As if they called him DAVE Dragon why not Kung-Fu Kieth?
• THE NON-STOP MUSIC

I'm going to say this one last time for a PG, it has some pretty adult content. I have nothing left to say.

Your GeekChick8)

Percy Jackson Review

Oh My God, grab a coffee and a comfy seat folks this is going to take a while! I'm going to separate the review into several parts:

• Story and Likeness to the book
• Characters
• Special effects
• Overall Movie
• Notes and Plotholes

Story

Well the story is about a demi-god son of trident tail who has to find an overrated static shock so his whiny bitch ass uncle doesn't start a war. I loved this story while reading it. It stills makes me laugh when I read it and I've read it a bajillion times. But how did the movie do? Well first I should tell you that 'Story' and 'Likeness to the book' were in two different categories which didn't really work because they work in tandem. So lets get started. No. The film almost completely changed the quest they had to go on how they did it ect. First of all in the book Percy gets given the quest by the oracle (who is not even frigging mentioned by the way!) and off they go. In the movie he's like "Chiron you saved my life, but I'm gonna up and leave in the middle of the night with no training, no idea where I'm going because I feel like it. K?" Originally (in the book) Percy is going on the quest to stop a fatal war of the Gods, in the movie it's completely selfish! Don't get me wrong I love my mother but I'm hanging around with the trainer of the Heroes! Hades even said his mother was still alive I'm pretty sure they could have done something to help. There's some shit about pearls or something. I mean I'm open to new idea's, like the lotus casino never really was explained in the books and those scenes were really quite good. In the films, though, Percy acts like the half-blood equivalent to Bella from Twilight.

Characters

Have I waited a looooong time to get to this!! Let's start with Percy Jackson himself; the gorgeous Logan Lerman. His gorgeousness does not excuse the fact he has only one or two facial expressions in the whole film. Another really important part. WHY ARE PERCY AND ANNABETH 17 AND 24? THEY ARE MEANT TO BE 12!!!! 12! I guess that nowadays if they cast 12 year old actors they would look too young, you can blame disney for that too. Annabeth is meant to be blonde, if you're going to give us a 24 year old make her blonde at least! She's otherwise a really meh character in the film like she doesn't have a passion for what she's doing. That's not just me making fun because I'm defensive. Which brings me on to Grover. I don't want to offend anybody, I'm black myself after all but why why why why? Brandon T. Jackson? They turned loveable awkward Grover into ....... that! He's almost 30 too. Also

 Poseidon is believable as a dad who just wants to reconnect with his son so yeah kudos to them.

Special Effects

I thoroughly enjoyed the effects! The way they did the monsters like the Furies and the Hydra and Hades was really creative and inventive. I love the books but the effects helped me visualise it in a way I can't reading. I'm really nitpicking here but; a) you don't need to add fire to everything to make it epic, b)Chriron's legs... enough said and lastly the water effect just looked like a water effect. But that's as I said, really nitpicking.9.5/10 for me.

Overall movie

It's not that bad. Sure Hollywood changed a few things but it's Hollywood or the underworld and to be fair it wasn't as awful as I remember maybe a 4.5/10

Notes and Plotholes

Isn't it meant to be New York even at night you would expect a few more people to be there. (I'm talking about like the first scene)

At the beginning there was a shot of the sky with lightning, yet Zeus keeps complaining there's no lightning!

Ares? Clarisse? Nancy Bobofit? The Oracle? just not going to mention them at all?

At the end doesn't Grover go off to look for Pan?

The pact of the Big Three is never mentioned.

Annabeth said she had only been to the human world a couple of times, Percy's piss poor and Grover's a goat. How can they all drive?

In capture the flag two of the rules are no maiming and or killing but Chiron stands back like "This is the best part!" ... sadist

Annabeth is supposed to like Luke not Percy ... yet ;)

Were the apple devices product placement, trying to modernise the books or something? There's a reason why it's dangerous to have a cell phone- BECAUSE VICIOUS MONSTERS WANT TO KILL YOU AND THE SIGNAL ATTRACTS THEM

it took a while but I finally got through it,

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ThatGeekChick

Hey guys

As you know I have an unnatural obsession with Percy Jackson so naturally I wasn't very open minded when I watched the film. Nevertheless I enjoy being pleasantly surprised just because I'm a cynical bitch doesn't mean I hate everything!!!!!!! This however had me shouting at the screen it hurt me so much! This isn't me being defensive I would have enjoyed it if it was at least slightly true to the books and no keeping the same title doesn't count! Inkheart did it! Kind of... At least it doesn't make me go off in a long winded, angry rant! Do you know what? I might be wrong let me see it again and I'll come back to you on what I thought this time around.

Codename: Kids Next Door

Codename: Kids Next Door

HELL YEAH! Does this not SCREAM childhood to anyone who hears the magnificent name? For those of you who have no souls or simply didn't watch, Codename: Kids Next Door, was about a group of these secret agent kids who got together to battle the adults. They're not just your average kid, um no, this group are so powerful and  extensive their base is on the bloody moon! Anyway it was back in the days were they really thought hard to deliver kids with cartoons that weren't inspired solely by the thought of that third house you can buy if this crap was successful. As much as the kids against adults idea isn't the most original idea in the world at least Codename: Kids Next Door does it in a well thought out way with conspiracies and twists around every corner. The characters are well developed and varied although sometimes the episodes can be repetitive. Anyway I love this show no matter what anybody says.


ThatGeekChick has spoken!